What's alive?

Hey Friend,

Surprise, I’m back! Since we last spoke, another “Combes” has been created out of thin air. And no, I don’t have a kid. I got married, and my now-wife took my last name, soo the Combes name had a kid? I don’t know.

All I know is that it’s a bizarre and meaningful experience to have someone change their last name to yours. It gives a renewed determination to make the last name stand for something good in this world.

Anyways, as usual, the last few months have been eventful to say the least. I got married in Hawai`i with family and friends surrounding us, partied til the break of dawn, honeymoon’d in Alaska for a couple of weeks, then flew to New York City a few days later to start a new life together.

We found a (280 sq. ft.) apartment in Manhattan shortly after arriving and have since been busy creating a home and adjusting to life in the Big Apple. All in all, it’s going quite well, and we feel good about the decision to run this experiment for a year and see what happens.

Thoughts

The number of thoughts and themes that I could write about is approaching intolerable. I’m sitting here finally writing another newsletter because it feels like my head is about to explode if I don’t.

So what am I thinking about, you ask? Here are some themes:

• Inherited vs. chosen identity

• Aliveness vs. deadness

• Adventure/excitement

• Generosity vs. coercion

• The rat race, golden handcuffs, lifestyle inflation, etc.

• Independence, codependence, and all variations of dependencies

• Much, much more…

For simplicity’s sake, I’ll elaborate on what’s most (ironically) alive in me right now, aliveness, beginning with a quote:

I had some interactions recently that made me reflect on this word.

Among my rough peer group (young urban professionals working demanding, high-paying corporate jobs), this sense of vitality seems to be systematically stripped away at the expense of a vague notion of “professional growth.”

It becomes normal for work to be the only thing that one can refer to when asked, “What’s going on?”, even if it’s been years since you’ve seen them.

Call me crazy, but I think this is crazy.

I think it’s absurd that this can or should be normal for arguably some of the most privileged, highly-educated, and highest-potential individuals on the planet. If anybody should be THRILLED to be alive, it is people (like me) with the world at their fingertips.

I also don’t think the answer is to blame “the system.” Each of us are active and willing participants in “the system.” Trust me, there are ways to get out of the system (go WHOOF or house-sit or one of the million other variations of work-trade agreements).

No, we need to take responsibility for our own lives and emotions, but I do think this becomes more and more difficult the more we are surrounded with others who accept the same mediocrity we’re trying to escape.

Before action comes belief, so the first step is believing that life should be exciting. Only then will we feel valid in taking different steps from our peers.

This might come from in-person relationships, or it could come from a myriad of parasocial relationships (podcasts, books, videos, etc.). When I was a teen in Hawai`i, if I only had the relationships right in front of me, I would likely never have begun pursuing digital nomadism or world travel.

Sometimes the people in our lives don’t provide the inspiration we need, and we have to look beyond them.

However we find it, I think we need inspiration. We need a constant reminder of what life could, or even should, be. At least, I know I do.

Action

Ok, cool thoughts, but what can we actually do about this?

Personally, I’m resolving to reflect, every single week, on what’s exciting me.

If nothing comes up, then I’m committing to put something on the calendar that will, or at the very least taking the first meaningful step towards it. Questions like, “What makes me feel alive?” can spark some ideas.

This week, this newsletter was it. Writing and sharing ideas excites me, so here I am doing it again.

So does traveling, so I commit to continuing to have adventures, even if they’re shorter than my previous month-long excursions (I fly to Florida tomorrow).

Above all, I commit to not making excuses and taking complete responsibility for my emotions.

I encourage you to do the same.

Until next time,
Ryan