My #1 Lesson from Living in Japan

Hey Friend,

Today, we’re diving deeper into my most popular reel yet about my #1 lesson from living in Japan.

Plus, my favorite discoveries this week and new content from me.

Let's get into it.

What I Learned Living in Japan

First, a quick backstory for those who don't know.

I've been doing my final semester at Babson College abroad in Kyoto, Japan.

While I sacrificed a lot not being at my home university during graduation, I do not regret it. These past four months have been transformative, and I know a lot of it has to do with my being in Japan.

So, what did I learn?

What I would have said to this 4 years ago:

"Wait, that's a bad thing, right? I'm supposed to live my life free of concern for what other people think! I'm a free bird, baby!"

Lynrd Skynrd blares as you drop acid and streak through town

Well, hear me out.

To be clear: I'm the last one that's going to ask you, "What will your parents/friends think" when you run a crazy idea by me.

Asking for permission is different from caring what others think.

But here's the problem:

The Problem With Not Caring

If you believe that you don't need to care what ANYONE thinks about how you act, dress, and speak, you won't advance in life.

There is a reason that it is the stereotypical spoiled teen who has never had a job that thinks this way.

They do not yet understand that they are dependent on all those people whose opinion they "don't care about."

If said teen never learns to "act properly" (i.e. be respectful and polite, dress well, and show up on time), they won't get opportunities that will help them advance in life.

This is also the problem with growing up in Hawai`i (the antithesis of professional) and then trying to build a successful career.

You don't learn this paradox: The more effort you put into pleasing others, the more you receive in return.

If you don't respect me, why would I respect you?

But here’s the catch…

Freedom and Professionalism

You can still live an unapologetically free life on your own terms while being a professional and courteous individual.

And, in my opinion, you should.

Put more effort than you think necessary into how you dress, speak, and act, and then go wild.

I'm still going full digital nomad, living in random places around the world (including my $20/mo AirBnB), making YouTube videos and doing psychedelics.

That's pretty "noncomformist" if you ask me.

And yet, I aim to be professional, polite, respectful, and present myself well to everybody that I interact with along the way.

These values are not incompatible.

If anything, it will make those I meet more respectful of me and take the more "out there" parts of me more seriously, because I also know how to be "proper."

If you see a dirty, broke, bumbling hippy talking about psychedelics, you think, "He's crazy, I'm never doing those."

If you see a well-dressed, rich, eloquent entrepreneur talking about psychedelics, you think, "Hmmm, maybe he is onto something."

I aim to be the latter.

Conclusion

In summary: Care what other people think, but don't ask for permission.

Be wild, crazy, and free, AND professional, polite, and proper when needed.

Break others' mental models of what's possible. Be an enigma.

Inspire others with your boldness and disregard for social norms while acknowledging your dependence and sharing your gratitude for those who make your nontraditional life possible.

Humbly share the lessons, help others achieve greater freedom, and just be a good person.

Simple. Not easy.

Good luck.

As always, if anything in this email piqued your interest, shoot me a reply. I’d love to chat about it with you and see if we can’t both grow a little wiser.

Until next week,

Much love,
Ryan

P.S. Favorite Discoveries + New Content

A favorite quote:

“Once you realize that you can turn off the noise without the world ending, you’re liberated in a way that few people ever know.” - Tim Ferriss

What I'm listening to:

From the Core: A New Masculine Paradigm for Leading with Love, Living Your Truth, and Healing the World by John Wineland. Ambitious title. What I’ve learned so far: The breath is the gateway to presence and relaxation. It is the foundation of your ability to offer unwavering compassion, stillness, and safety for those around you. As a man in a hetero relationship, this is particularly crucial. Learn to be the anchor for your partner and they will love you for it.

What I'm re-reading:

Brave New World by Aldous Huxley. Almost 100 years old and even more prevalent today. From the description:

“Welcome to New London. Everybody is happy here. Our perfect society achieved peace and stability through the prohibition of monogamy, privacy, money, family and history itself. Now everyone belongs.

You can be happy too. All you need to do is take your Soma pills.”

When I talk about limiting social media and other “little” behavior changes, this is the bigger picture in my mind. The existential, dystopian future I am trying to steer people away from.

You can now be hacked. Companies know you better than you know yourself. Either learn to defend yourself from their manipulation or become a slave.

New Content from Me

• My 10-Year Transformation

• Why Crazy is a Compliment

• How to Build a $1m Business With No Employees

• My #1 Lesson from Living in Japan