Making Myself Broke (On Purpose)

Hey friend,

I'm considering intentionally making myself broke.

Here's the thing: I made a good chunk of money during COVID due to starting a business and lucky "investing" (thanks crypto).

I proceeded to lose a good chunk of it (thanks crypto), but still hold onto the identity of being "not broke".

I think that identity is hurting me more than helping, as I am simultaneously comfortable and anxious about money.

I have enough to get by and travel, but am worried about running out because that would dissolve my identity of being "not broke".

So, while not broke, I am in a subtle but persistent state of fear of losing what I have.

This begs the question: What if I DID lose what I have?

I tell myself that I'd be able to make back whatever I lose, be it $10k or $10m. But do I actually believe it?

I realized today while in a sauna (which are apparently referred to as "truth barrels") that this idea, while completely counter to "wise financial practice", could actually be one of the most valuable things I could do.

I fear that the scarcity-minded environment I grew up in, particularly around money, will prevent me from truly enjoying the fruits of wealth even after I achieve it.

Wealth is, after all, an arbitrary concept, and if I struggle to spend with $10k or $100k, why would I expect that to change at $1m or $10m?

By intentionally stripping it from myself, when I have no responsibilities and could sleep on couches if it came down to it, I could prove to myself that losing money is not a death sentence and free myself from a fear that I feel lies deep within me.

Then, I could rebuild my financial well-being from an abundant, less fearful place, and would not fear losing what I make in the same way in the future.

This freedom sounds really, really nice, and I've already noticed myself feeling lighter today just with the possibility of not worrying about running out of money (but that's a whole other letter).

I'm curious to hear what you all think of this idea. I count a lot of you as some of my closest friends with wisdom to share.

Am I crazy? Is there a better way to achieve the same outcome? Or am I onto something here?

Let me know!!

Until next time.

Much love
Ryan

P.S. Made a few pieces of content recently like finding spirituality in the mundane, what to do when you travel to really understand a place, and finding out what you're hiding from yourself. Check em out! :)