Taking an Oath of Provision

Hey friend,

Starting this one off with a quote:

“In Morocco…as in Spain, a man must gain full and total independence from women as a necessary criterion of manhood. How can he provide for dependents and protect them when he himself is dependent like a child? This inversion of sex roles, because it turns wife into mother, subverts both the man and the family unit, sending both down to corruption and defeat.”

-David Gilmore, Manhood in the Making

Post-Grad Possibilities

I’m thinking about where I’m going to live after I graduate in 6 months. One option is in Hawai`i at my mom’s place. I’d pay (discounted) rent and food, so it wouldn’t be total caretaking, but this quote pushes me against it.

Sure, it’s nice to get some help right after I graduate and have some time to figure things out, but how would I ensure that does not simply allow me to continue procrastinating on what matters most?

Not only that, but living at home would not challenge me or push me to grow in the same way that getting an apartment somewhere like Ecuador would (which would not be that much more financially to pull off).

How much is following-through on my most important goals worth? Conversely, how much does each month spent without progressing in the ways most important to me cost me?

Lastly, I cannot help but feel that psychologically, living at home reinforces a belief that one is still a child and can consume more than he or she produces.

Receiver to Giver

As the same author points out, the critical threshold for manhood “represents the point at which the boy produces more than he consumes.”

This shift is symbolized in the culture of the East African Samburu tribe, where in his transition into manhood, a boy will ritually swear an oath to never drink milk sourced from the village again. This self-denial represents a critical shift from receiver to giver of sustenance.

I feel that a similar oath in today’s world would be vowing to absolve oneself from all financial support from one’s parents (including discounted rent or food), and I don’t think that this only applies to young men.

It certainly is less comfortable, but it seems to be worth it.

What do you think? Is there a counter-argument? A valid reason to continue receiving support from one’s parents even if one could support him or herself if they really wanted to?

Lemme know!

Thanks for reading and much love,

Ryan

P.S. Couple new videos this week on Letting Women Relax and this idea of Taking an Oath of Provision.