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- Life is full of surprises
Hey Friend,
I genuinely hope you are well. There’s only 45 people on this list, so you opening and reading means a lot.
Life has been full lately. Full of travel, work, grief, wonder, humbling, and gratitude.
There have been 4 deaths among family and friends since my last newsletter. One of them gave me the chance to learn about a side of my family I had never known, which was thrilling and sorrowful, while another gave me an unexpected honor that I will cherish for the rest of my life.
Life is full of surprises.
Another surprise is that I assumed I would never live in a major U.S. city. I assumed I would live the digital nomad life, jetting from one country to another, for at least all of my 20’s. And yet, here I am in NYC, car horns blaring and all, not out of necessity, but simply because my priorities shifted.
Not to mention the surprise of getting engaged.
Suffice to say, life is hard to predict, and I think that’s a good thing if we can flow with it rather than against it. If we can marvel at the complexity of it all without clinging to our own narratives about what should and what should not happen.
As Ken McGrath put it, “Truth is an immovable object.”
Speaking of Ken, I do need to take a moment to expand upon the “unexpected honor” I mentioned earlier.
In July, 2023, I met Ken and heard his life story, which I found incredible. 4 months later in November, when thinking of guests for my new podcast, I immediately recalled him and knew I had to capture his wisdom if he’d allow it. He did.
We sat down for 3 hours and he retold everything and more, sharing wisdom from his 78 years on this planet, which featured more surprises than I thought possible in one life, the latest being his diagnosis with cancer.
At the time of recording, Ken had just returned from multiple months of experimental treatment, with both the possibility of recovery and deterioration in sight. Everyone, including him, was hopeful for the former, and he was dedicated to do everything he could to achieve it. But it was not to be.
On March 10, 2024, Ken died.
In his final days, I was asked if I had a transcript of the episode. I provided one, and it was used to write parts of his obituary in his own words. The episode was also shared with family and friends.
To say that I am humbled and honored would be an understatement. The most I’d hoped that episode would achieve was to inspire and entertain a few friends. To know that it instead can be a source of remembrance and was one of, if not the, last time that his voice was captured is both stunning and chilling.
Once again, life is full of surprises. It’s impossible to predict the impact of our words and actions. It seems the best we can do is to act with love, courage, and good faith, and to never allow the self-defeating belief that it doesn’t matter to deter us from doing something we feel called to do.
This habit of not rejecting myself before others have a chance to reject me is now responsible for some of the most meaningful things in my life.
One more thing before you go.
Not a week after recording the episode with Ken, I sat down again with my first guest, Jenny Schroedel, for a round two.
For those who don’t know, Jenny is a hospice chaplain, and has spent over a decade working with people in their end-of-life journeys, as well as those grieving the loss of others. To say she has a wealth of wisdom when it comes to this inevitable chapter of our lives would also be an understatement.
I’ve sat on this episode for months, and have beat myself up a bit for not releasing it, but after writing this newsletter I’m convinced that it was for the best. I asked Jenny about death and love. Specifically, we talked about how to process loss and grief, as well as how to love despite our human flaws.
Listening to her words on these topics after both Ken’s death and my own engagement has been a powerful experience. Life presents many distractions, many shiny objects to chase and goals to achieve. But at the end of the day, there remains one thing that matters.
You know what it is.
I won’t try to sell you on listening, except by saying that I think you’d be doing both yourself and those around you a disservice by not dedicating some time to meditate on these “immovable truths.” :)
O.K., I’m done. Thank you for reading (and perhaps listening). As I said at the beginning, I appreciate every one of you that reads this, and I genuinely hope you each are doing well.
Until next time.
Mahalo and take care,
Ryan