What's Actually Keeping You (and Me) Poor

Hey Friend,

Today, we’re talking about wealth. Specifically, the (most likely) #1 limiting factor preventing you (and me) from becoming wealthy.

If we’re not aware of this one, we’ll spin our wheels working our asses off while never getting anywhere. Meanwhile, somebody else will work half as hard and make 3x as much money.

Do I have your attention?

Alright then. Let's get into it.

Backstory

It started last week, when I was in Shenzhen, China. I was having dinner with a couple friends and one of them, let’s call him John, was discussing a new, big client he might sign for his business.

He was really excited, but a bit intimidated by the size of the project and the amount of money involved. The client was big, and willing to pay a lot. Despite this, he quickly jumped into the idea of giving them various discounts, to the point where he wouldn’t make anything after paying his employees.

He posited that this was fine, given it was his first big client and a case study would be the most valuable form of payment.

I won’t lie: I agreed, thinking, “Yeah, that’s true, you don’t need to make anything.”

Then, my other friend, let’s call him Steve, butted in: “HELL NO,” he said. “You NEED to make money on this. Pitch yourself well, charge a lot, and do a good job. They will pay.”

Who should he listen to?

The Problem With “Reason”

Let’s consider the backgrounds of each person involved:

I was born into money, but it was stolen by a professional con man when I was young. For as long as I can remember, money has been tight, and I’ve been raised to believe money is scarce. I’ve made good money at times, but am still uncomfortable charging a lot due to my disbelief that I deserve it.

John was also born into money, but, crazily enough, his family ALSO lost it at a young age due to thievery. Since then, he has busted his ass as an entrepreneur, making enough to get by but never quite earning the big bucks.

Lastly, Steve’s family is in the top, top percentile of wealth in China. His parents are immensely successful entrepreneurs and he has made good money himself through various endeavors.

I’ll be the first to admit that John should NOT listen to me. Rather, we should both be listening to Steve, because he is not intimated by wealth.

Because of this, he’s comfortable charging high amounts of money for his services.

He could probably work half as hard as John or me and still make more money, simply because he’s comfortable charging more.

Value is subjective. $100 to a millionaire is different from $100 to someone in poverty.

It seems to me as if you have to believe you are worth more than you think is “reasonable” in order to raise yourself up.

In other words, your beliefs lead your results, instead of the other way around.

You HAVE to be “unreasonable” at first. That’s the only way you will call the new reality you wish into existence. Your standards have to change.

My Intention Moving Forward

This is why I am setting a new standard for myself going forward.

I will no longer settle for “mediocrity.” If I see two options for hotels, one 5/10 for $50 and one 8/10 for $80, I will take the $80.

If I need to make more money to do this, then I will build a more valuable skill set, sell myself better, and raise my earning potential.

This is the beauty of the entrepreneurial life. You are not capped by someone’s salary of what they think you’re worth. If you want to make more money, that’s a function of your effort.

For me, this means building my digital marketing contracting work out into a proper agency. I’m revamping my website, getting proper testimonials/case studies, and asking for referrals and doing outreach.

The intention is to scale it to six figures within the next 6 months.

Alongside this, I will continue with the content on personal development, masculinity, and entrepreneurship.

“Wait, Ryan, didn’t you just say you were planning on living in poverty?”

Yes, you little rascal. I’ve thought about it, and I think I have more to learn from pushing myself to become wealthy rather than living poorly.

The truth is, I’ve lived poorly plenty of times before in my life.

I’ve been houseless, jumping between house-sitting for random people in Hawai`i for a year with my family of four. I’ve lived in my Dad’s van with him. I’ve lived on a 26-foot boat for a month.

All that to say, I don’t think I struggle with fear of being broke as much as the average Joe. And, in a lot of ways, mentally accepting the possibility has already removed a ton of the stress that I had around spending money.

I’d still like to do some week-long experiments in living dirt broke intentionally, but overall I feel I have more to gain (as do those around me) from pushing my mindset around money in the other direction.

I’ll dive into this stuff more in later letters, but for now, I have a question for you…

My Question to You

Do you believe you’re worthy of wealth?

If you grew up in a wealthy household, then the chances are good you do.

If you’re like me, and grew up in a more scarcity-minded household, or even a middle class one, the chances are a lot lower.

Chances are, you’re going to have to actively rewire your brain to believe yourself to be deserving of wealth.

It’s a skill nobody teaches you in school (you could even get a little conspiratorial and say its probably discouraged if anything, as wealth makes an individual more powerful).

Despite this, it is crucial to live a free life. Wealth buys many things, but freedom from doing that which you don’t want to do or being where you don’t want to be is the most linked to happiness.

That’s how I plan to use my wealth, in addition to providing for and protecting those I love.

What’s your view on wealth?

I’d love to hear in a reply, chat about it with you and see if we can’t both grow a little wiser.

Until next week,

Much love,
Ryan

P.S. Favorite Discoveries + New Content

A favorite quote:

“Making money is not a thing you do—it’s a skill you learn.”
- Naval Ravikant, The Almanack of Naval Ravikant

What I'm listening to:

Runnin’ Down a Dream: How to Succeed and Thrive in a Career You Love by Bill Gurley. Found via Founders podcast (recommend). If you don’t watch it (it’s long), the point is: The best of the best in any field studied the crap out of their field before becoming well-known. They were obsessed, moved to THE SPOT to be for what they were doing, and spent every moment of their free time learning the ins and outs of the industry. With the internet, we all have NO excuse to not be absolute experts in our respective fields, and we need to take the role of educating ourselves seriously if we want to reach the top. I’m applying this to the marketing and men’s development spaces.

What I'm re-reading:

22 Immutable Laws of Marketing: Violate Them at Your Own Risk! by Al Ries and Jack Trout. Recommended repetitively by Tim Ferriss. We’re all marketers, whether we like it or not. We need to sell ourselves, and the top rule from this book is this: Don’t be the best, be the only. If you can’t be #1 in a category, create a new one. Everyone remembers the first/best, nobody remembers #2.

Content from Me

• 3 Better Alternatives to Scrolling Social Media

• If You Get Upset at Your Girlfriend for Being “Too Emotional…”